You learn as a Christ follower it is very hard to hear His voice even in silence.  We have so many masks that we wear to fit certain situations.  A lot of times we become so intermeshed with all our masks that we lose who we really are.  We must be bold in making the decision to be our self.  In that decision we will learn that everyone doesn’t fit in to our molds.  We will not be able to satisfy everyone’s expectations of what they believe your role in their life is.  That is not the purpose of living.  Yes, we are designed to serve and help but, in that humbleness, we must be our self.  I have recently found it is much easier just to be Anthony than it is to be the Anthony I think this person wants or that person wants.

In this transition, there is a lot of turmoil and most of it is going on in your own head.  I speak of the battle in the mind a lot, but I want you to understand that I know the war, the ENDGAME if you will, is already done.  I have found myself lost so many times in a world that will feed you anything you need to keep you from being yourself.  I have learned that I have a lot of worth and it is what God has designed me to be, a Man of God.  He knows our struggles and the mistakes we will make along the way, but much like the “thug” that comes out for a sport and starts to choose the sport over the “thug” life because someone walks with him through that valley.  This is what God will do for us.  He is walking with us and He is protecting us, even when we think the World is against us.  Oh, if we only knew what the World against could really look like without God! SCARY!! No Thanks!! I will keep believing!!

So why does it take the Boldness of a lion to be our self.  I know for me I have always thought very low of myself, I have missed the mark of my worth from a very young age.  Words that were said to me as a child stuck with me and the adult, like in most cases, has no idea the hurt and damage that can cause.  I know because I have been that adult in the coaching world and said things I thought were truthful but, in the end, they were very hurtful, and I could have chosen a better way.  I have forgiven the wrongs done to me as a child, however those scars are reminders and sometimes like, PTSD, those scars take me back spiritually to that broken frightened child.  Therein lies the reason for the boldness, we must push through that pain and fear and let people really see who we are, and guess what?  When they do it’s special.  They are not seeing some mask you have designed specifically for them or the situation, they see you.

I am thankful that I have come to this at an early age and now can live my life being me.  Now the lies and whispers and confusing thoughts of the devil and my flesh will still be alive and well, but I know God’s still and silent voice, I know how to allow the Holy Spirit to come and fight for me, I JUST HAVE TO WANT IT!!!   Yesterday, I chose to be bold, it took some encouraging from people(angels) God has placed in my life, but in that step, A HUGE STEP, I was able to be myself.  I was able to see my worth and hold onto that, even today.  Jesus is everything and in Him that peace that comes in the storm is relieving, but it is much like when the headache medicine first starts to take the headache away… It is less pain, its fading but it’s there enough for you to remember why you took the medicine in the first place.  Jesus is a reminder of why we shouldn’t hurt ourselves because of our lack of self-worth, but we should be holding onto the fact that He calls us His BELOVED!!  That one step more to say we are so precious and desired by him.  Do not look for your validation from people, instead Find Your Validation in CHRIST!!!

One Love, One King, All Christ!