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Nov 28

Thankful for

I hope all is well, I know I have been silent since July and I can  tell you I have been in a battle a spiritual battle, I have been in a spiritual depression.  I have known this for a while and at first attempted to fight this with pride.  It did not work like we all know it doesn’t.  I havent wanted to let myself or anyone know that I have been defeated for a while.  As cliche as it is, sometimes it takes a holiday such as this one, Thankgiving.  What am I thankful for?  you know when you are depressed you just think about yourself and lose touch with God and all that he has placed in your life.  This is where I have been.  The past year has been extremely draining for me.  I did not realize the toll that my prayer life and living for God was doing to me, I became burnt out without even knowing I was burnt out.  I did not help myself by allowing sin to win over and over again.  Feeling helpless, it is as if I was just waiting for this moment to make a comeback if you will.  I need Jesus, I know I have him, but I need him if that makes sense.  As life moves on, it seems that at times it is leaving me behind but the truth is I am leaving myself behind.  I continue to sabotage my walk.  I really believe that my sin is under control, when the truth is I have no control.  I have a choice, Jesus or Evil.  I have been choosing evil for a while, its been a battle but my Lusts, Feelings and Wants have won those battles.  I really let myself get to a place where I see people in love with Jesus and I say I remember that! I get scared at that point because it “feels” like I cant get back there.  I know this is alot, but I have been gone for a while, but I just want to start my rededication with what I am thankful for in my life and then give Jesus the wheel.

What I am Thankful For:
Jesus’ protection over me ( I have been in dangerous places)
My Family ( The reconciliation)
My Friends ( The many Jesus has placed in my life that truly love me)
My opportunities ( allowing me to do what I love)
My health ( keeping me healthly even though I shouldn’t be)
My Future Wife/ Best Friend ( knowing she is out there and praying that I believe I deserve her)
My Future Children ( knowing that Jesus designed me to be a Father)
My Walk ( realizing, like Solomon, only God can fill the void)
My Addiction ( allowing me to know that I am broken and can’t fix it alone)
My Laugh ( learning to enjoy laughing and those around me)
My Heart ( allowing me to know I care for others and want to help)
My intergity ( knowing I have messed up and had wrong intentions and admitting that to myself)

Jul 07

He is always watching and protecting, Always!

Good evening friends, I know it has been a while since I last posted.  Well a lot has been going on and I have traveled some as well.  I want to write to you about where I have been spiritually for a while now.  I am thankful that God has watched over me and those who are under my watch.  The truth is when we first come to Christ, we are in the darkness, then we accept him and end up in the light.  Satan does not like that but he knows we do not want to be in the darkness any more.  What does he do?  well he changes the light switch from and on and off switch to a dimmer.  He sabotages our walks, placing traps everywhere.  These traps effect us physically, spiritually and emotionally.  However, he knows just turning off the lights leads us immediately to Christ.  He starts to dim the room, slowly the room becomes darker in a subtle way, in a way that we don’t realize.  Its a lot like the old metaphor of the frog in boiling water. Throw him in when its boiling he will jump out, but put him in their when its cold and turn the heat on and he will just sit there til he cooks.  Well I am tired of being that frog and I have realized I allowed myself back into darkness.  Thankfully it never became pitch black because the light of Christ is always shining.  I can remember my days of wanting to do my own thing and it got me nowhere and fast.  I want to turn the time back to when I knew and lived liked I was in Love with Jesus.  I am tired of the excuses I make for everything when God gives me examples everywhere.  Especially with my dear friend and brother Brett!  He is living life to the full because it was almost taken from him, but He is rejoicing in what God has done.  I sit here and complain or make excuses for this and that.  The time has come to move forward with Christ.  No more taking myself out of the game to sin and do what I want, I want to be a first team player and more so I want Jesus to call my name when its time to make a play.  Through Christ I am the play maker and through His Strength I can overcome any and all obstacles and only need to look at Brett.  My heart and soul desire Christ, but it must be a full surrender. Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ!

Apr 24

Future Glory

Let’s get straight to the point, shall we? The truth is when we look at our life and the obstacles that come before us, many of those issues are there because of one person, our self.  When I look into my life I see that I am the catalyst to most of what is going on, both good and bad.  We have to take ownership of our sin, now we do have stuff that comes into our lives because of other people, but even in those cases, we are in a relationship with them.  When its family it is obviously a tough situation to just break off the relationship, but we must start to live our life for what God says is best for us.  Now, sometimes that means walking away from those that are holding us back.  That is living with our Future Glory in mind.  It does not mean we do not pray for them and their healing, but we cannot allow them to lead us astray anymore.  We have to surrender and turn to Christ, because what you start to realize and is very hard to swallow is that your life is not about you.  I do, however, have some AWESOME news, your life matters to Jesus.  He wants you to live a life where you can pour out his love onto others and he will take care of you.  Romans Chapter 8 is a preparation for us to realize the trials and tribulations we suffer and experience on Earth cannot even compare to the Glory that awaits us in Heaven.  The problem is we are a show me now kind of creature so we want it now.  We want Money Now, We want Success Now, We want Sex without Relationship Now, We want the Quick Fix Now.  It seems like we have no intentions of grinding through these desires and working towards them.  There is no magic wand when it comes to Jesus, and I know that many of us know that, we just need to be reminded moment by moment.  What has come to my heart, mind and soul is this ” THERE IS NOTHING WE DO HERE THAT IS GREATER THAN WHAT IS WAITING FOR US THERE!” We do not belong to this Earth, but to Christ.  If we begin to live by this truth it will not only mold us into better Men and Women, but also Husbands, Fathers, Wives, Mothers, Friends, Brothers and Sisters.  Let God Mold you, simply say Lord, Here I am, All of me for you! Amen

One Love, One Cross, All Christ!

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