My Anxious Thoughts

God does so many wonderful things for me.  He is constantly in the works around my life.  Yet I seem to always find a way to doubt him.  When I should just be thankful for my next breath.  I made some big steps in my life that I have not done before and, I can tell you, the anxiety that is trying to wrap itself around my neck almost seems unbearable. For the true first time I am giving God this feeling and not allowing it to cut oxygen off to my brain so that my thoughts run free.  Something I learned in being vulnerable is that it sucks!!  However, I do believe on the positive side of it, the change in how I think is not relying on my maturity but in my weakness.  When I come to realize what is offered to me and through me the more I want and desire to trust God.  I just do not like to feel out of control!  I know that is something we are never completely in charge of but that is my delusional thinking, LOL.  Now I have done something that totally places it all in God’s hand and even took a step of acknowledgement in the matter.  There is a fear of rejection and of just plain fear.  Did I? Should I? Could I? When I? are the thoughts that typically bombard me and in all honestly I feel them wanted to drop bombs on me but Christ is there.  He has always been, I just have always been “In Control.”  My prayer I ask for you and me is that we would trust God regardless of how we feel and let him work in our lives to direct us and glorify him.  We should enjoy the fruits of the overflow and HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF OUR HEARTS! Claim that, Believe that because in the end, My Life is Not about Me,  it is about SERVING and SURRENDERING TO HIM!  Amen!!

One Love, One King, All Christ!

My Prayer Today

Papa,

Thank you for reaching down and lifting me up.  Thank you for removing that rock that was such a heavy burden for me to carry. All of my doubts and battles seemed so large because I tried to deal with life on my own.  The more I tried to do the more difficult it became.  I remembered what it was like to follow after you and I remember the footsteps poem.  I did not need you walking beside me I needed you to pick me up.  I realized that the 2 sets of footprints became one because of that and not because you were gone.  I lift up all the new things in my life and pursuits and pray you would open and close the doors that are in your will.  You know my heart and my desires, but also my anxious and unreasonable thoughts!!  I give it all to you and pray to continue to do right by letting you shine through me.  Thank you for embracing me in all my times of need even when I didn’t realize it or want it.  I pray against feeling numb like I have for my whole life and pray that I would take the steps into trusting those that you put in my life, knowing that it is you who gives me the discernment to trust them.  I pray that it would be in that trust of you I would be willing to be hurt by those you have put around me.  Papa, it feels good praying to you and knowing you are with me and I know you never left I just was being human.  I need you and you are my strength and my peace and I am thankful for all you do.  Everything in my life I surrender to you and I pray you take all of my anxious and unhealthy thoughts and bind them and send them wherever it is you send them.  I also pray that you would protect those in my crown of life and cover us all with the Blood of Christ.  It is in Jesus’ Holy and so Precious Name I pray.   AMEN!

One Love, One King, All Christ!

When we don’t understand Forgiveness

       The hardest moments in our lives are to forgive those who have wronged us or hurt us deeply. We tend to believe they do not deserve to be “let off the hook.” I believed this for many years because most of the time forgiveness is taught in church in a very sugar-coated way. The truth about forgiveness is us giving up our right for vengeance against those who have hurt us and leaving them in God’s more than able hands. One thing we don’t realize when we carry unforgiveness with us is that it sours our hearts and souls. It causes us to handle everything on our own and never truly trusting God. I have been there before and even recently realized how angry and hurt I was by others. It carried over into every part of my life, even where I was happy.
       It was when I wrote down each name of those who owned my anger and dislike and prayed to give up my right for vengeance for each of them and cross them out one by one. This allowed me to know they were all in my Saviors hands.  Believe friends my heart has been hardened and calluses cover it because of this. I’m in a slow process of freedom and Jesus is the reason. I will get back to my love affair with Christ because he never left I just chose to close my eyes. Well no more! I pray that you to will forgive those who have hurt you and realize it doesn’t mean they got away with it.. it just means Jesus will deal with it while you can move on in peace. Also know our God is big enough that if one of those relationships is supposed to be healed he will heal it. Ask him to break off those unhealthy soul ties and turn completely your eyes and heart on Jesus! Amen
One Love, One King, All Christ!