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Dec 30

Darkness Falls

There comes a time in all of our lives, even after knowing Christ, that Darkness falls.  It doesn’t matter which direction we look, it seems as if there is no light.  I have been in this darkness for months now.  I allowed the wrong doings of others towards me to harden my heart.  In that I have found myself in a place that seems so far away from my Lord.  I watch and listen and experience the work of Jesus in the lives of those around me.  I sense that somehow deep within me I can find it once again, but then I turn back to the darkness.  The truth is I have found comfort in the darkness, in the lies that it has given me to be truth.  I know the truth of Christ and I know how much he loves me, but for some reason, I let my choices be about me and not about God.  I find my selfish needs have little to do with pleasing myself, but much more about numbing myself.  As I sit and think about the times of darkness I realize that I have chosen those paths because they are ones I am most familiar with.  You see Christ is Radical and Just.  He is not safe, but rather intense in the love he has for us.  I have found myself trying to contain the love he has for me by believing the lies that I am not good enough.  Only through Jesus can the Light penetrate the darkness.  I know that in a pitch dark room if you light a small match it can light up the whole room on the spark. What Christ has to Offer is a white hot brightness that cannot be duplicated and is just for me and you.  As Darkness has Fallen on me, it will be the light of Christ that Lifts it off of me.  I am a new creation in Christ, I am His Beloved and there is nothing, even the sin I have chosen that will keep me from him.  My future is in Christ’s hands and I will not live my life alone and lost.  I will grab a hold of the mane of the Lion of Judah and follow the path that he trail blazes for me.  I will trust him through my feelings of doubt, anxiety and loss and realize the Victory I have in him.  I pray for you that have been lost in the Darkness, that you would allow the light in.  Amen and Amen

One Love, One Cross, All Christ!

Read More 4 Comments   |   Posted by Anthony
Nov 28

Thankful for

I hope all is well, I know I have been silent since July and I can  tell you I have been in a battle a spiritual battle, I have been in a spiritual depression.  I have known this for a while and at first attempted to fight this with pride.  It did not work like we all know it doesn’t.  I havent wanted to let myself or anyone know that I have been defeated for a while.  As cliche as it is, sometimes it takes a holiday such as this one, Thankgiving.  What am I thankful for?  you know when you are depressed you just think about yourself and lose touch with God and all that he has placed in your life.  This is where I have been.  The past year has been extremely draining for me.  I did not realize the toll that my prayer life and living for God was doing to me, I became burnt out without even knowing I was burnt out.  I did not help myself by allowing sin to win over and over again.  Feeling helpless, it is as if I was just waiting for this moment to make a comeback if you will.  I need Jesus, I know I have him, but I need him if that makes sense.  As life moves on, it seems that at times it is leaving me behind but the truth is I am leaving myself behind.  I continue to sabotage my walk.  I really believe that my sin is under control, when the truth is I have no control.  I have a choice, Jesus or Evil.  I have been choosing evil for a while, its been a battle but my Lusts, Feelings and Wants have won those battles.  I really let myself get to a place where I see people in love with Jesus and I say I remember that! I get scared at that point because it “feels” like I cant get back there.  I know this is alot, but I have been gone for a while, but I just want to start my rededication with what I am thankful for in my life and then give Jesus the wheel.

What I am Thankful For:
Jesus’ protection over me ( I have been in dangerous places)
My Family ( The reconciliation)
My Friends ( The many Jesus has placed in my life that truly love me)
My opportunities ( allowing me to do what I love)
My health ( keeping me healthly even though I shouldn’t be)
My Future Wife/ Best Friend ( knowing she is out there and praying that I believe I deserve her)
My Future Children ( knowing that Jesus designed me to be a Father)
My Walk ( realizing, like Solomon, only God can fill the void)
My Addiction ( allowing me to know that I am broken and can’t fix it alone)
My Laugh ( learning to enjoy laughing and those around me)
My Heart ( allowing me to know I care for others and want to help)
My intergity ( knowing I have messed up and had wrong intentions and admitting that to myself)

Read More 4 Comments   |   Posted by Anthony
Jul 17

Compassion without Compromise

I woke up today and again realized there are so many people in this world.  Each of them has a story and for each of them there story means something to them.  How can we start to see people the same way we see ourselves.  Now, I know this is hard because of the history of the world.  These people don’t like those people and those people don’t like them people and them people don’t like no people.  It becomes frustrating and upsetting as we live in this world and attempt to make Christ our center.  In all we must respect the beliefs of people and search their hearts for truth. We must know and understand we give compassion through Christ and our Faith without compromise in our foundation. We are all broken, whether we want to admit or Not! However, we are All also Worth God’s Healing and Grace!

One Love, One King, All Christ!

Read More 0 Comments   |   Posted by Anthony
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