I will walk in my integrity

The power of our Father God is truly unmatched. When we choose to be positive in life because we know God’s got our back, you can approach life in a much different way. When you meet someone and you get to know them a little, you can feel that vibe. I have always been thankful to the Holy Spirit for allowing my discernment to be on point the majority of my life. When we choose to walk in our integrity, Our Father God will continually redeem us and be gracious to us. I am learning on a slow pace that life will always have adversity but Jesus will confront the adversity for you. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel it but it does mean it won’t beat you!

The more I spend time with God and realize that He is my Heavenly Father and that He wants what is best for me, I know to deny my flesh. There is a struggle but in the end I want my peace and time with God to be treasurable and not focused on repentance and conviction. When we walk in our integrity it affects us, it is not about others, although they benefit from it. The amazing thing I think that sticks out the most is you choose to be honest with yourself. You will look at past situations and you can see how you didn’t let God do His thing. We figured we knew the answer or we knew we could handle it and then Boom, It Escalates!! Since changing how I see God the Father as a loving amazing Father who wanted the best for His Beloved son, It is much easier to deny the flesh and whispers of the dark and stay close to Him.

Feelings have always been my number one enemy or weakness. My feelings are what would make me overeat and would be what got me into a lot of trouble. I would feel some type of way, whether it would be envy, sadness or just that I had missed my opportunities, my feelings would dominate. Now, as of the last 3 or 4 months I have been able to realize I can feel some type of way but I do not need to feed that monster what it is longing for. I do not need to let my flesh allow the evil one more access to my broken mind, body and soul. So I look to God in the morning, during the day and at night. I have changed the way I talk and what words I say out of my mouth to myself and to others.

The first couple weeks of walking in my integrity was difficult and it wasn’t because I lie or tell half truths to people. NO, it was because I believed the lies I was hearing about myself. Finally, I know that I am LOVED, DESIRED and COMPLETELY SAFE with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I do not need a feeling to know what love is. (just words, nothing to do with the song, LOL!) I just need to know!! It is funny because just in writing that last sentence took me back to my childhood to realize GI JOE had it right, “Now you know. And knowing is half the battle,” We need to be putting in that Faith and work to honor God with all of our Heart, Soul, Mind and Strength and as Jesus says, Love your neighbor, as you love yourself!

I shall walk in my integrity!! I am Redeemed and I know my God LOVES Me!!

One Love, One King and All Christ!!

He who rescued us will continue to rescue us! Amen and Amen

The second letter of Paul to the Corinthians, he says in Chapter 1 and verse 10: “¹⁰ He has rescued us from such a deadly peril, and he will rescue us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to rescue us, “ The C.S. Lewis Bible (NRSV)

Thank you JESUS, Thank you that in times of confusion and of loss your truth stays firm. As I sit and think how someone can be gone I can’t help but wonder why it feels so permanent, when in actuality we should be rejoicing that they are with Jesus. It doesn’t mean we wont grieve and miss them OH SO MUCH! I miss my mom and my friends and family dearly, but I am also very thankful to know that they were all believers and that they are ALIVE and in a way I can only hope to be the day I am called home.

Every generation comes in as the new generation then they become old and during that time when another new generation is born the old must die. I have come to realize that death is truly a beginning of eternal life and my hope and faith must be cemented into that truth, regardless of any and all doubts that come at me, whether thoughts, spirits or people. I need to know that Heaven is a real place with very much ALIVE people, literally living their best life. The scripture says He rescued us from a deadly peril and it says he will rescue again and he will continue to rescue us.

He has rescued us from the Cross, He has rescued us from Death and He will continue to rescue us from what we face here on Earth. I must trust him to rescue me from the darkness and emptiness of grief and believe He will embrace me during that time. That Jesus will bring peace and tranquility to the hearts and souls of those who have lost Mothers, Fathers, Husbands, Wives, Sisters and Brothers. He will gather them and rescue them. The scriptures speak of God as a place of safety and a place where the broken-hearted can run to!

Jesus is our refuge and our fortress as the Psalms say. It also says He will charge His angels to watch over you that your foot may not hit a stone. Well, my friends when we hit that Rock of Grief that seems immovable and impossible, through Christ All things are possible. It is not that you will forget or not think about or miss that person, but you will start to view them as someone who is away on a trip or moved away instead of that feeling of finality.

OUR FINALITY AS BELIEVERS IS TO LIVE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER! TO THAT I SAY SELAH and AMEN & AMEN! Allow Jesus in and allow the Holy Spirit to hold you so close that you can feel his warmth. These are hard times and I do miss my Mom (15 years ago, which I can’t believe) and my friends that I lost in the last 8 months Keith, Spell and Jim as well as my Godmother Auntie Marie!! I know that I will rejoice and praise and worship with them one day again and that HOPE in Heaven is where I want to cement my belief and feet!!!

One Love, One King, All Christ

The Art of Coping!

One thing I have noticed about myself, and I am speaking just for me. I have become a master of coping with things that happen in life. One of the reasons I weighed over 361 pounds was because of how I cope with stress in life. A lot of times it doesn’t feel like you’re doing anything wrong because you justify it by being “hungry.” Well, once I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and also was pre-diabetic I knew I needed to change. I made the change in the beginning of 2022 and lost over 80 pounds. Then my friend of 20 years passed away.

Here I was 80 pounds lighter and then this new stress of losing a loved one came bulldozing in. Without missing a beat and before I really knew it I was 20 pounds heavier and feeling it. I caught myself and stopped that unhealthy cycle of coping by eating. Then I realized I used other methods of numbing my feelings to cope with not wanting to feel the grief of that loss. I got help and had a friend encourage me and teach me how to trust God and truly trust Him by allowing people that He puts in your life to do so. I found myself wanting to draw closer to Christ and as I desired that, the more darkness filled my surroundings. These feelings of being a lone and of feeling not worthy tried to whisper their way back and I won’t lie I slipped but it was the kind of slip where you lose your balance like 17 times but finally catch yourself from falling… Yeah that is me!!

Another close friend has gone to be with Jesus and though he is gone, he was so full of life. He wasn’t sick, he wasn’t struggling but he is gone. I have been in shock since Friday when I heard the news and have a heavy heart for his wife and kids. They were such a tight knit family, they were the family you want to be like if and when you get blessed to have a family. I felt the same methods of coping trying to push back onto me but this time, God intervened and I did not overeat, but because I am a master of coping I saw small suggestive ways for me to deal with this. Even in my darkness, because of Jesus I could see a light and he keeps it nice and bright. You see I know even in my struggles I am HIS BELOVED and I know He holds nothing against me.

My friends if you are like me and cope in negative ways to deal with stress, grief, rage, anger or depression please know Jesus is truly the way. However, you can’t do it alone!! We need community and family to come together during this time. It is not only important to be like Jesus in these situations, but we must also free the Holy Spirit in us to do His work! I want you to know it is ok to be a master of coping as long as it is in positive ways… Praying, eating healthy, praise and worship, talking with friends or counselor. Choose the doors that are open and not the one’s you have to run full speed into to break down. Enjoy each moment with your loved ones and do not take for granted your each and every breath! God is real and so is Heaven and those we have lost here on Earth have simply passed onto the next side and are ALIVE and WELL… THANK GOD I BELIEVE AND THANK GOD FOR JESUS!!

One Love, One King, All Christ!