Breaking Bread with God, my Adoptive Father!

I wanted to share a very special day I spent with my Adoptive Father during spring break and it was actually on the Thursday before Good Friday.  This was the day that Jesus broke bread with His disciples and raised the cup that would become the new covenant in His name.  He told them to take this bread and eat it as it is a part of him that solidifies their belief in him and then He said take this cup and drink as this represents the blood that will be shed for you and will allow you to be saved.  This communion confirmed the new covenant we have in Christ and the soon arrival of the baptism of the Holy Spirit.  I enjoyed my week with God during this past spring break as He met me every morning with something new.  Every morning was beautiful and this particular Thursday was just the same.  The views were ridiculous and so so sweet.  It was as if he painted every morning view just for me.  The suns rays always pointed right at me.  I went to the grocery this morning and bought some Challah bread and some grape juice, and oh yeah some croquettes and a coconut pastry, LOL.

On a serious note, the worship music (Hymns) were playing and I read the last supper scripture out loud to my Adoptive Father.  I took the bread(body) and broke it and then ate it and then I took the cup(blood) and drank from it.  This was my first communion with my Adoptive Father.  I learned a few weeks ago that this was my destiny.  God chose me to be His son.  There were moments when the sun would sneak out from behind the clouds and the light show was amazing.  As the clouds moved the sun rays displayed their beauty over the sky and ocean.  I was able to sit, in solitude, and truly enjoy His Majesty.  My goal is to be lifted above my feelings and into the mysterious tremendum- The Awesome Presence of God.  One of my fears is to deal with my lack of urgency to repent and change completely into God’s presence. WHY DON’T I LIVE LIKE HE IS WITH ME, LITERALLY!  I now realize the battle but also the love that Christ has for me and you.  Though we may exhibit behaviors that are in conflict with the Holy Nature of God, Jesus DIED for those behaviors.  It does not give us a ticket to sin freely, but to know we are free from sin when we repent.  There is truth that if there is any unholy in me then there is nothing truly holy in me. However, that was the purpose of the cross and the victory over death.  As we draw near to God, our Adoptive Father, we will DESIRE to do those things He calls on us to do.  Breaking bread on this spring break Thursday was such a blessing as God chose to meet me!  There is war and turmoil all throughout my mind, body and soul and as this battle persists the Holy Spirit comforts me in letting me know I will not perish.  I am His and as scripture says, If God is for me, then who can be against me! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ

Comfort vs. Peace There is False Peace in the Comfort of our Sin

I can remember the exact moment as if it was just last night.  The uncomfortable silence and the heaviness on my chest.  The feeling of anxiety and dread and all of the feelings so overwhelming as I was thinking about Jesus.  I am laying there thinking about Jesus and my mind and flesh are going crazy.  After feeling that way for hours, which really was only a few fleeting moments, I get up and decide I need to numb this NOW!  Then as if all my problems and feelings were lifted, this is while I am sinning, I felt comfort.  Those scary feelings disappeared, no more dread, no more anxiety and I actually felt good in that darkness.  We seek pleasure because we cannot wait on God’s timing, but more so we seek those feeling to numb the other feeling that don’t feel good.  Now as God has been dissecting me and doing surgery on my soul I am recognizing how much trust and faith I have put in the comfort of my sin.  I never thought the darkness could feel so good and give me this false sense of peace.  It is true if we have never experienced authentic peace in Christ then we wouldn’t know the difference.  I know that was something that put a lot of fear in me that I had never really had peace in Christ.  Always in a losing battle because I would never trust Jesus and the Holy Spirit to fight the fight for me and help me at my weakest moments.  What an amazing con man I have been to myself and I have believed the lies for over 20 years, like selling ice to an Eskimo, oh yeah I am the Eskimo!  I have always allowed the comfort of my sin to be enough for me and all the while my heart and emotions were DEAD!

The comfort, however, never lasted it was always followed and I mean always by pure unadulterated, disabling and defiling shame.  The cycle of sin and addiction would just turn and turn and I would be there running full speed on the Sinner’s Wheel of Death. I wanted to say hamster but sinner’s sounded more powerful, just so you know.  WHY CAN’T I STOP, LORD? I’M SO SORRY, LORD! PLEASE HELP! I MEAN IT THIS TIME! And on and on the pleas of forgiveness, but never of repentance.  I would say forgive me and stop for a while and then I would see the damage I had done and you guessed it, right back into the cycle and the comfort of the darkness.  I had the belief that this was my thorn in my side and that was the excuse I was going to use until my last breath.  You see it’s easy to accept the promise of comfort because we know over time it will run out and you will have to renew it.  I am sure we all have that favorite couch or recliner and over time the comfort ran out!  I always chose to renew my comfort because the pain and thoughts that came with them were so overwhelming and SO LOUD!

True peace is found in Christ but not in the way many of think.  Peace in Christ comes through war with ourself.  We must allow Jesus and the Holy Spirit the freedom to help us in this war.  It is not much of a fight for the devil when we do this alone, WE GET WHOOPED!  The cool part of this is the devil and all his minions GET WHOOPED when we surrender to Christ.  It’s hard to explain in words, but peace in Christ is like when you have escaped death.  There is such a relief and exhale of joy as your life is flashed before your eyes.  You can stand still and know He is God, you stand in reverence.  The beauty of peace with Christ is the Holy Spirit opens the eyes of your heart and you can take captive and examine each thought and see where exactly it is originating from.  It’s comedic in a sense of how sin try’s to hide and it makes me think of “Peter Griffin” (Fat Guy from Family Guy) hiding behind a broomstick as if we couldn’t see him.  Seriously, God lets us see it not to remind of us of how we have fallen, instead to remind us of what He has freed us from.  This life needs to be lived day by day and moment by moment.  I challenge you to live with Christ first and truly see how easy life is.  I want you to tell me how being weak and believing in Jesus is a crutch for us to not truly experience life.  The battle for peace is not one for us to fight.  It is for us to turn over that fight to the true warrior in Christ Jesus, who will demand peace with failed resistance from the enemy.  Every Knee Will Bow! EVERY LAST ONE ON EARTH AND IN THE SPIRITUAL REALM.  We have Jesus, the Holy Spirit and Angels ready to protect us at all times and they will always answer to our plea of weakness and surrender! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ