The Stone That Floats

The heaviness of this world is sometimes if not almost always tough to carry.  When we experience this in our life we sink to the bottom and it’s so hard to breath.  That feeling you get when you are underwater, and you so desperately need that breath.  Life will keep you in this state for as long as it can.  The more broken down and beaten we feel the less likely we are to help others because we are so focused on our own crap.

It is funny how we all know that when your throw a stone into water it will immediately sink to the bottom and that how life works for many of us.  Things happen to us, a family member or a friend and we sink.  We listen to the lies that we are worthless or not good and it keeps us holding our breath looking to find a way to the top.  We would give anything for that breath, that feeling of weight being lifted from us.  That desperation leads us all to our different vices.  We choose those things that help us forget we are drowning and sinking.  It is in this mode of desperation that Christ can prevail.

You see, my friends with Jesus it is not about magic!  It isn’t like you accept Christ and then your life because all unicorns and rainbows, no not at all.  What happens is he walks with you.  When he comes into our lives, it’s not that we don’t carry the heaviness that has molded us, he just keeps us afloat.  Yes, the stone that floats!!  Much like the pumice stone which is a real stone that does float, all our brokenness, the holes created by life allow us to fill up with Christ and we rise to the top.  Yes, we are on the surface, we can breathe, and it is now up to us to stay afloat. When you look in the picture what you do see is the shadow below the now floating stone.  There is a reminder of the past, a reminder of where we were taken from.  The fact that Christ can do all things and can watch us and protect us, is all him.  We must trust that God will help us and guide us and laugh with us all through these days.

I love being a stone that floats, it is comforting to know I do not have to do this life alone, but that Jesus will be there with me.  To guide me and keep me on the surface.  The beauty of Christ is when we decide to hold our breath to go back to drowning, He simply says here and stretches His hand out to us much like he did for Peter.  Hold on to me and you never have to let go, even in your brokenness and darkness, Christ is with us.  Choose to rise to the surface, choose to give Jesus your secrets and the lies you listen too, truly commit to trust him and see what happens!

One Love, One King All Christ!

Lonely feelings!

Good Saturday afternoon my friends. You know with all the family stuff going on in the month of May and June I struggle with loneliness like it’s the holidays. Kids are graduating, people are getting ready to go on vacation and much more. Then, here I am just sitting around wanting to do stuff but really just wanting someone to do the stuff with. It’s hard, as you have friends you want to hang out with, but it just doesn’t work out. Then I come to realize something very important and something I’m not very good at and that is knowing that God is with me!! He literally is with me every step of the way. The question I heard today was when am I going to be enough? God just wants me to give all in and not hold onto those feelings of loneliness. He knows I desire a relationship, one that will have Jesus as the foundation!! But I need to have fun and enjoy being single!! I have to avoid the the lies and whispers that come in and say I am worthless and no good and allow the Holy Spirit to comfort me, mold me and be with me during these moments.

Don’t Call it a Comeback

The last few years have been a battle between my flesh, heart, soul and mind.  It is a battle that has taken many huge and rough defeats, but has also experienced some beautiful victories.  You see, my friends, I know the war is won… In the end, Jesus has got my back!!  But we still have to live on this Earth and deal with our worse enemy, our own self!  I mean I know the Devil is real and his influence and attacks are as well.  However, many of my downfalls come from believing lies I tell about myself.  I am tired of my sin life being on automatic!  If you don’t know what I am talking about its when your body just does it, no thought, no preparing, it is just so accustomed to the action that it just happens.  Several of my emotions are like this as well.  Coaching has a become a great outlet for me, a healthy one, but I have to be on alert that I do not fall into the traps of the coaching life.  I have battled my strength in Christ for several years of my life and much like the rest of the country it happens in seasons.  The one season I seem to stay in all year is really not allowing myself to love myself.

Now, if you met me and talk to me or see me coach you would probably not believe that I do not love myself well.  I think it started many mango seasons ago when I was very little.  However, the impact it has had on my life, especially my personal life is devastating.  Now, when I am close to God and things are aligned, I feel amazing and I know this because I have no fear to share the Lord.  It is in the moments where I look at myself and sabotage myself into believing lies, like I am not worth it, or of course she wouldn’t want me etc.   The crazy thing is, the women that I have met most recently are cool and down to Earth, but guess what, No Jesus!  This is a big problem for me and then I haven’t been going to church.  I am not saying to use church as a dating place, but I need to find someone who is running this same race with me towards Christ.

I went to celebrate my mom’s 11th anniversary in Heaven with Jesus the other day.  I asked God to bring my mom along for the chat, if He didn’t mind of course.( I don’t think He did)  Anyways, it was in that chat with God that I heard myself and realized how easily I can be bamboozled by Satan.  Instead of taking every thought captive and allowing Jesus to investigate and dissect it, I am taking them and trying to make pizza out of clay!!  Its not going to happen and in the end, I end up a lot worse off in the brain and thoughts and emotions department.  I know in my life I have been  led by my eyes, whether it be food, women or material things, but lately those things have fallen off and I know I want more.  When this started to happen I started to care less and less about myself, without realizing it!  I gained over 80 pounds and ended up near 350 pounds!  When this happened I realized, along with some close childhood friends dying of heart attacks, I needed to change something.  That change has started and the more I realize the importance of church and being around others who love Jesus the more I believe these lies will be a lot easier to call out on and not believe.

I have come back to Christ, what feels like a millions times, but you know the truth is He has never let go from the moment He embraced me into His family!  I am his adopted Beloved son and in that he simply awaits for me to see my worth and for me to see myself as He sees me!

My prayer is I will fall back in love with my first love, Jesus Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to take the lead and guide me in my life of coaching, living, personal and growth as His beloved.  Amen!

One Love, One King, All Christ!!