Comfort vs. Peace There is False Peace in the Comfort of our Sin

I can remember the exact moment as if it was just last night.  The uncomfortable silence and the heaviness on my chest.  The feeling of anxiety and dread and all of the feelings so overwhelming as I was thinking about Jesus.  I am laying there thinking about Jesus and my mind and flesh are going crazy.  After feeling that way for hours, which really was only a few fleeting moments, I get up and decide I need to numb this NOW!  Then as if all my problems and feelings were lifted, this is while I am sinning, I felt comfort.  Those scary feelings disappeared, no more dread, no more anxiety and I actually felt good in that darkness.  We seek pleasure because we cannot wait on God’s timing, but more so we seek those feeling to numb the other feeling that don’t feel good.  Now as God has been dissecting me and doing surgery on my soul I am recognizing how much trust and faith I have put in the comfort of my sin.  I never thought the darkness could feel so good and give me this false sense of peace.  It is true if we have never experienced authentic peace in Christ then we wouldn’t know the difference.  I know that was something that put a lot of fear in me that I had never really had peace in Christ.  Always in a losing battle because I would never trust Jesus and the Holy Spirit to fight the fight for me and help me at my weakest moments.  What an amazing con man I have been to myself and I have believed the lies for over 20 years, like selling ice to an Eskimo, oh yeah I am the Eskimo!  I have always allowed the comfort of my sin to be enough for me and all the while my heart and emotions were DEAD!

The comfort, however, never lasted it was always followed and I mean always by pure unadulterated, disabling and defiling shame.  The cycle of sin and addiction would just turn and turn and I would be there running full speed on the Sinner’s Wheel of Death. I wanted to say hamster but sinner’s sounded more powerful, just so you know.  WHY CAN’T I STOP, LORD? I’M SO SORRY, LORD! PLEASE HELP! I MEAN IT THIS TIME! And on and on the pleas of forgiveness, but never of repentance.  I would say forgive me and stop for a while and then I would see the damage I had done and you guessed it, right back into the cycle and the comfort of the darkness.  I had the belief that this was my thorn in my side and that was the excuse I was going to use until my last breath.  You see it’s easy to accept the promise of comfort because we know over time it will run out and you will have to renew it.  I am sure we all have that favorite couch or recliner and over time the comfort ran out!  I always chose to renew my comfort because the pain and thoughts that came with them were so overwhelming and SO LOUD!

True peace is found in Christ but not in the way many of think.  Peace in Christ comes through war with ourself.  We must allow Jesus and the Holy Spirit the freedom to help us in this war.  It is not much of a fight for the devil when we do this alone, WE GET WHOOPED!  The cool part of this is the devil and all his minions GET WHOOPED when we surrender to Christ.  It’s hard to explain in words, but peace in Christ is like when you have escaped death.  There is such a relief and exhale of joy as your life is flashed before your eyes.  You can stand still and know He is God, you stand in reverence.  The beauty of peace with Christ is the Holy Spirit opens the eyes of your heart and you can take captive and examine each thought and see where exactly it is originating from.  It’s comedic in a sense of how sin try’s to hide and it makes me think of “Peter Griffin” (Fat Guy from Family Guy) hiding behind a broomstick as if we couldn’t see him.  Seriously, God lets us see it not to remind of us of how we have fallen, instead to remind us of what He has freed us from.  This life needs to be lived day by day and moment by moment.  I challenge you to live with Christ first and truly see how easy life is.  I want you to tell me how being weak and believing in Jesus is a crutch for us to not truly experience life.  The battle for peace is not one for us to fight.  It is for us to turn over that fight to the true warrior in Christ Jesus, who will demand peace with failed resistance from the enemy.  Every Knee Will Bow! EVERY LAST ONE ON EARTH AND IN THE SPIRITUAL REALM.  We have Jesus, the Holy Spirit and Angels ready to protect us at all times and they will always answer to our plea of weakness and surrender! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ

Jesus Smiled at Me

Today is when death lost its fiery sting
It was on a Friday that Christ was forsaken by ALL
Today, Jesus is our true and mighty risen King
On His return, riding His white horse and making that thunderous call

My heart desires to pursue His reverence
No longer am I a slave choosing to wear my chains
For on that cross Jesus laid for my deliverance
That is why, Beloved, in the tomb there are no remains

On this Friday I fell flat on my face
Yet as my Savior lifted me He gave me a smile
You my son are complete and covered in my Grace
Dare not listen to one of those lies that I would put you on trial

This smile from me is all for you
Easter Sunday is a True day of the Ultimate Victory
As I walked out of that tomb the enemy had not a clue
Deaths terrible sting is now only history

My Beloved, walk with strength that you know me
This price I paid on the cross was for all
The new creation I have made you is what I want you to see
You will always, My Beloved, be lifted on high every time that you fall

Oh what a beautiful powerful  ressurection Sunday
There is such beauty in knowing my Jesus smiled at me
In his nature he will leave the 99 for the one lead astray
Death is defeated and powerless all because Our King was nailed to that tree

One Love, One King, All Christ!

in a rush

I woke up early on this third day of Spring break.  I felt so refreshed and my days have truly been overflowing with Jesus.  The truth is me and Jesus just been kicking it with each other every morning this week and my adoptive Father God has shown up every morning as well. Now this morning started the same as the others.  I woke up and walked to my desk.  I sat down and read a page out of my Jesus Calling book and then decided to play some Tonk(card game) while I waited to drink some coffee and head out to the beach.  I decided this morning to skip the coffee and head to a very fancy coffee/tea shop to get my very special Higelow green tea.  You may have one of these shops near you as well, they are amazing and have a very fancy name “Sevung Elevum.”  Once I had my tea I headed to the lighthouse.  As I was driving down old cutler road I notice the sunrise was happening and I was about 25 minutes away from the lighthouse and was going to miss this.  Here’s the deal I started the week by asking God to show me something new everyday I went to the beach.  He kept to his side of my request.  I remember a beautiful spot in the back of Matheson Hammock park where you can still see the lighthouse and it’s about 7 miles away.

This was a spot me and my dad would go to honor my moms memory and just enjoy the beauty of the water and the sky.  As I focus back on my driving I realize I am only about 10 minutes away from this spot and there in front of me, well 2 cars ahead of me is this tree shredder truck.  As I said I was on Old Cutler and there is no passing.  He is literally going 30mph and I am livid, how dare this guy follow the law and drive the speed limit and keep me from my sunrise gift.  He must not know it’s me Anthony Fadelle behind him, so 10 minutes becomes 15 then 20 and I am anxious and In A Rush.  In all this turmoil of my brain, God whispers ” this is on purpose, slow down!”  He was talking about my thoughts and not my speed.  Remember I asked him to show me something new and beautiful everyday and he kept His promises.  God being God and my adoptive Father, as I pull up the gift is waiting.  The sun completely exposed reflecting brightly on the surface of the ocean, but subtle enough that you could look right at it.  God showed me his face on this morning, he took the time and his perfect timing to let me see His beautiful face.  Slowly the clouds begin to cover the sun and the rays are diverted to the lighthouse.  What an amazing and awesome God I was trying to rush!

This has been my spring break and even in this down time I have had so many “Thing To Do.”  All of us find our self in a rush, staying busy and in the grind of life.  Honestly, we have to find time for God first, more than anything else, including family.  As I am sitting here quietly looking over the ocean there is no artist that could create or even duplicate the beauty of God’s creations.  Slow down my friends and start your days with God and I can tell you from recent experience it makes an incredible difference in how you live and care for others.  The only thing missing from my view this morning is the Holy Spirit decending down from the Heavens, that is how beautiful this landscape view is.  Let me just say this about slowing down in your life, PUT A RUSH ON IT! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ!