As I draw closer to the Lord

This is not the first time I have sought after God to help fulfill the emptiness of my life.  However, this is the first time wisdom is being used in the process.  I am starting to realize I have learned so much in my choices that now, as I chase after God, I can truly surrender my thoughts to him.  I do not know for you but I am my biggest obstacle.  When I would deal with life my first reaction to any type of feeling would be to run and hide and numb it quickly.  I did not even want a thought that there could be a chance I could get hurt.  REALLY!!  What type of life have I lived til now if I never truly just let go and trusted God.  You see as I have started to allow God to be the lead in my life I have found more and more strength in my relationships.  I am just being myself and knowing that the CROSS paid for all my past, present and future sins I can live and love knowing that Jesus truly loves me.  Though I have known Christ for many many years and I have served him, I think in my experience this may be the first time I am grabbing a hold of the truth of his love for me.  There is always the choice to turn away and do it on your own and that has left me numb and with a callused heart in the past.

However, NOW and today I can feel the tenderness of my heart again and I can feel the joy of the Lord and hold onto the fact that he is my refuge and fortress.  I can sit with him and enjoy the feast even as my enemy stands across from me for battle.  My battle and War have been won, I am Victorious and now I must live as if I am Victorious.  Following after Christ is a life style change and not just a diet.  Anyone who has battled weight problems knows the difference.  We have all dieted and 100% of the time the weight comes back and then some.  It isn’t until we make a lifestyle change that the weight comes off and stays off.  This is so much a good example for me in being with Jesus.  My past have I have dieted on his word, used it when I needed it or felt like I was close but man, sin was always so appetizing that my one cheat day would be two, three then the diet was over and I was broken.  Now, that my lifestyle change is happening I eat of his word and praise every morning and pray without ceasing in every situation.  I do not feel the urge to sin, it is present, but the destruction it causes is not worth the risk.  I LOVE THAT JESUS LOVES ME!  I want to be excited about our time together and I want to feel with Christ like I do with my best and close friends and ultimately one day my best of best friends in my wife! Amen!

One Love, One King, All Christ!

He Lives and He Answers!

I have been a follower of Jesus for a long time of my life.  I have been through the ups and downs of life and have battled so many of the questions that we all ask ourselves.  The amazing thing about God is he is always there and ready to answer.  The answer isn’t always what we want it to be, but that is because we are trying to tell Jesus what we think is best!! LOL…  That has been my thing for so many years and I see it more clearly now as I am looking for different things in life now.  However, the change is in God’s timing and most of the time for me, that’s just too long.  I can not tell you how many times I ran away from the good God was doing because I didn’t like how it felt.  Emotions are so powerful and for me they guide my decisions.  I am a 1 to 1000 type of person and that has been hard to change, alone that is.  Recently I have been in these spiritual, emotional and relationship battles with God.  The battle is me trying to hold onto what I am comfortable with.  We will hold onto the nastiest of habits or thoughts just because they are familiar.  Well let me tell you, Jesus is ALIVE and no matter the time or place or how many times, He is there for me and for YOU!!  As I rest in his embrace, I am starting to remember again my life is not about me, but about those he places in my life.  This life is meant to be lived to Glorify JESUS!  I will surrender all of who I am to the one and the only true King, My King, My Savior!!  I repent of all my sin, selfishness and anger to Him who paid for it all on cross for me! AMEN!

One Love, One King, All Christ!!

My Anxious Thoughts

God does so many wonderful things for me.  He is constantly in the works around my life.  Yet I seem to always find a way to doubt him.  When I should just be thankful for my next breath.  I made some big steps in my life that I have not done before and, I can tell you, the anxiety that is trying to wrap itself around my neck almost seems unbearable. For the true first time I am giving God this feeling and not allowing it to cut oxygen off to my brain so that my thoughts run free.  Something I learned in being vulnerable is that it sucks!!  However, I do believe on the positive side of it, the change in how I think is not relying on my maturity but in my weakness.  When I come to realize what is offered to me and through me the more I want and desire to trust God.  I just do not like to feel out of control!  I know that is something we are never completely in charge of but that is my delusional thinking, LOL.  Now I have done something that totally places it all in God’s hand and even took a step of acknowledgement in the matter.  There is a fear of rejection and of just plain fear.  Did I? Should I? Could I? When I? are the thoughts that typically bombard me and in all honestly I feel them wanted to drop bombs on me but Christ is there.  He has always been, I just have always been “In Control.”  My prayer I ask for you and me is that we would trust God regardless of how we feel and let him work in our lives to direct us and glorify him.  We should enjoy the fruits of the overflow and HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF OUR HEARTS! Claim that, Believe that because in the end, My Life is Not about Me,  it is about SERVING and SURRENDERING TO HIM!  Amen!!

One Love, One King, All Christ!