A Cry Out

It is has been a long long time that I have been in a storm. A darkness where I felt like I could not hear anything from the Lord.  I was tricked by the Devil, simply by believing I could recognize his attacks.  I decided to get into the ring and ever since I have been getting destroyed spiritually.  The hold feels like a giant foot planted on my neck, with a warning if I move I will suffer the consequences.  My heart has been hardened so much that, even in my desire to follow Christ, I FELT like Jesus was too far away.  I know that he paid it all on the cross, I have prayed for people, I have known these truths, yet I still believed the lies I get whispered to me all the time.

My search to get back is exactly what has kept me down.  Get Back To What?  Jesus let me know that nothing has changed, there is no getting back.  There is the Stop the Woes Me, and live embracing all the blessings and people who love me in my life.  I missed the mark my friends, in forgetting my life is not my own.  I allowed bitterness and anger to take hold and in that I have sabotaged my own life, living in a place where there is no light, no joy and no peace.  My heart was so tainted that even when I knew I was going to mess up and I saw the way out, I did not take it.  As life continues, God continually sent people from all places in my life to remind of who is is, The Hound Of Heaven,  He is relentless in his pursuit of his Beloved.  He not only mourns for those who do not know, but he loves and wants to discipline and comfort those who do believe.

I placed myself back in a dungeon that doesnt even have a door and I am sitting here.. watching and observing as life goes by, realizing the relationships and opportunities that Jesus is giving me and will continue to give me to glorify him.  He is the reason for everything and it hurts me to and embarrasses me that I have been fooled into this uneasy and heavy yoke.  Thankfully, in his pursuit, he sent yet another Angel to me.

As I sit here through these tears, wiping them just to see the keys.. My heart hurts in a good way.  He took someone I invested in, someone he used me to help get to know him better and brought him to me in a time when I believe I have been at my worst.  I think I have misunderstood the meaning of hitting rock bottom… Well I don’t agree with it, because it feels more like being at the bottom of the rock with all of its weight on me.  I allowed my pride to make me believe I could not get here again because I am a believer and as you read this you see the word “I” a alot and when it has come to this, I have done it Solo, ignoring the help being offered, or simply letting my heart be numb to the love God offered me through friends.  Then, the angel, sits with me and as I see the Light of Christ shining through him and pouring onto me, my heart softens, I feel the demons running because Christ and the Holy Spirit have come like a Navy Seal team to take care of one of their own.  Here is this young man, speaking into me, the wisdom that Christ gives him to tell, He Loves me and reminds me through him, I have made huge differences inso many lives because of Jesus.

My morning as started off in an amazing way…  He is here with me, I have ignored him for so long, thinking I could do this, I can come out of this.. HE IS HERE, THIS MORNING, HE IS HERE!!  I am so thankful for Jesus so humbled that even in all the evil and darkness I feel I have succumbed too, he does care. HE IS HERE!  I do not want to be here anymore. I want the Rock lifted and JESUS HAS LIFTED THE ROCK.. I know our God is an Awesome God and I know it even more today.  There is no better feeling in this world or universe or in Heaven than to hear Jesus say,” Anthony, I choose YOU!!!”  Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ

Remember my friends, Live Like Your Loved

The Change

When I was younger my selfish ways always and I mean ALWAYS won. Now as I start to see the purpose of life and how Christ influences us daily to follow him I realize the beauty of each relationship.  There are some to honor and be thankful for and there are others that test our faith. Each of these allows God to make us stronger in our weakness. Though we are all different we all suffer the same! The pain we feel is pain regardless of the consequence that brought it upon us. Christ’s love is more than enough in the good and the bad, in the happy and the sad! Amen!!
Live Like Your Loved!

As the World Turns! Not the Soap Opera TV show

stock-footage-jesus-hand-save-the-world

I continue to watch my life and those around me.  It amazes me to see how life can be so different for all of us, but yet we all tend to suffer from the same things.  We forget the connection to Christ and to this World.  Though the devil has the ability to make our lives a living Hell, there is nothing he can so to separate us from the One who loves us the most, Jesus.  When we look to the left and to the right we see pain, defeat, frustration and desperation. It can be like we are looking in a mirror when its our own lives with our own problems or it can be around us.  The ones we care about most.  This world just keeps on turning so it does not become dead and dormant and so should we.  My friends, continue turning and moving. but always remembering to Honor God for all that comes your way.  When the bible says he will give us only what we can handle, we come to realize we are a lot stronger than we ever believe ourselves to be.  What I have started to teach my self is to stop looking to the left and to the right, rather I will look up and open my arms and accept the love that Christ covers and overflows us with.  It is with that protection that my decesions will be made and my path will be trailblazed.  I know the path I have chosen and it only leads to death. We do not know the path that Christ has set for us but we know it was designed specifically for each of us.  People will be in your life for seasons, some for the long and some for the short, others come back into your path and God does His will.  Loving Christ and knowing that my life is not my own anymore, helps me to not look into my selffish wants but to serve Christ in helping those he places into our paths with their needs.

LIVE LIKE YOUR LOVED!
One Love, One King, All Christ!