When we don’t understand Forgiveness

       The hardest moments in our lives are to forgive those who have wronged us or hurt us deeply. We tend to believe they do not deserve to be “let off the hook.” I believed this for many years because most of the time forgiveness is taught in church in a very sugar-coated way. The truth about forgiveness is us giving up our right for vengeance against those who have hurt us and leaving them in God’s more than able hands. One thing we don’t realize when we carry unforgiveness with us is that it sours our hearts and souls. It causes us to handle everything on our own and never truly trusting God. I have been there before and even recently realized how angry and hurt I was by others. It carried over into every part of my life, even where I was happy.
       It was when I wrote down each name of those who owned my anger and dislike and prayed to give up my right for vengeance for each of them and cross them out one by one. This allowed me to know they were all in my Saviors hands.  Believe friends my heart has been hardened and calluses cover it because of this. I’m in a slow process of freedom and Jesus is the reason. I will get back to my love affair with Christ because he never left I just chose to close my eyes. Well no more! I pray that you to will forgive those who have hurt you and realize it doesn’t mean they got away with it.. it just means Jesus will deal with it while you can move on in peace. Also know our God is big enough that if one of those relationships is supposed to be healed he will heal it. Ask him to break off those unhealthy soul ties and turn completely your eyes and heart on Jesus! Amen
One Love, One King, All Christ!

On the Road and In the Fire

I know it has been several months since I last posted and a lot has happened since last May.  As life would have it, I had some technical difficulties with the actual website.  That was a part of the problem.  The other part, well that was me.  What heaviness and unforgiveness I thought I had let go of, I DIDN’T.  I thought going to Trinidad for three weeks was going to heal me and my spirit and soul.  I am not going to lie I felt like a new man when I came back, but honestly I was hiding the truth of how my soul was feeling.  I realized that God truly wants me to take a break.  When I say that I do not mean from teaching or working, but for myself to heal and grow because if not I will continue to think the worst of people and be angry.  That isn’t fair to Jesus, because he places people in our paths that need to know him.  If I stick around and stay angry and do not find a away to come to peace with where I am, I will continue to Suffer.  I can’t believe how fast time flies and so many things happen that effect us directly.  Don’t get me wrong I know there is a a lot worse going on in this world than my problems, but spiritually that battle is the same.  The difference is they believe with faith the size of a mustard seed and I sit here believing in what I can do to change the outcome of something.  The answer to the latter is ABSOLUTELY Nothing.  If Christ is not in the picture then it might as well be a blank slate.  I am excited to release my right for revenge on all those who have hurt me and I am excited to feel close to Jesus again.  I am glad to be back and I hope your excited too.

freedom to do what you want!

The deception every addict falls in love with until the pain is so bad, but not bad enough to stop because the appetite of evil cannot go unfed.  In the beginning we feel like we have control.  We immerse ourselves into the “new thing.”  It really doesn’t matter your struggle.  For me personally, it is all rooted in not wanting to think about what a horrible person I think I am.  How weak am I that even in my weakness I lie.  I lie to myself about not lying that I am lying to myself.  The word broken really is not an accurate description, I would lean more toward spiritually SHATTERED!  Have any of you been here before? I feel like the only one sometimes, even though I know I am not.  It saddens me to think I focus on this while across the World people choose to lose their lives simply because they believe in Jesus.  Men, women and children are slaughtered, tortured and destroyed physically and emotionally for their love of God, while I sit here and listen to the whispers that tell me I am a piece of crap because I have no self control.  Well, the choice to have no self control is not a choice I just don’t have any because I would rather not think, feel or even pay attention to the whispers of my unworthiness.

In the end, my friends, the lies need to stop.  The cross needs to remain HUGE in my line of sight.  Its presence is so big that I can see it even when I close my eyes right through my eye lids and so big that even if I turn around and close my eyes I can sense its shadow overcoming me.
BIG CROSS= BIG FAITH
LITTLE CROSS= BIG PAIN

“Jesus’s death and resurrection become our death and resurrection” -Jonathan. K Dobson,
Gospel-Centered Disciplship