Thankful for

I hope all is well, I know I have been silent since July and I can  tell you I have been in a battle a spiritual battle, I have been in a spiritual depression.  I have known this for a while and at first attempted to fight this with pride.  It did not work like we all know it doesn’t.  I havent wanted to let myself or anyone know that I have been defeated for a while.  As cliche as it is, sometimes it takes a holiday such as this one, Thankgiving.  What am I thankful for?  you know when you are depressed you just think about yourself and lose touch with God and all that he has placed in your life.  This is where I have been.  The past year has been extremely draining for me.  I did not realize the toll that my prayer life and living for God was doing to me, I became burnt out without even knowing I was burnt out.  I did not help myself by allowing sin to win over and over again.  Feeling helpless, it is as if I was just waiting for this moment to make a comeback if you will.  I need Jesus, I know I have him, but I need him if that makes sense.  As life moves on, it seems that at times it is leaving me behind but the truth is I am leaving myself behind.  I continue to sabotage my walk.  I really believe that my sin is under control, when the truth is I have no control.  I have a choice, Jesus or Evil.  I have been choosing evil for a while, its been a battle but my Lusts, Feelings and Wants have won those battles.  I really let myself get to a place where I see people in love with Jesus and I say I remember that! I get scared at that point because it “feels” like I cant get back there.  I know this is alot, but I have been gone for a while, but I just want to start my rededication with what I am thankful for in my life and then give Jesus the wheel.

What I am Thankful For:
Jesus’ protection over me ( I have been in dangerous places)
My Family ( The reconciliation)
My Friends ( The many Jesus has placed in my life that truly love me)
My opportunities ( allowing me to do what I love)
My health ( keeping me healthly even though I shouldn’t be)
My Future Wife/ Best Friend ( knowing she is out there and praying that I believe I deserve her)
My Future Children ( knowing that Jesus designed me to be a Father)
My Walk ( realizing, like Solomon, only God can fill the void)
My Addiction ( allowing me to know that I am broken and can’t fix it alone)
My Laugh ( learning to enjoy laughing and those around me)
My Heart ( allowing me to know I care for others and want to help)
My intergity ( knowing I have messed up and had wrong intentions and admitting that to myself)

Compassion without Compromise

I woke up today and again realized there are so many people in this world.  Each of them has a story and for each of them there story means something to them.  How can we start to see people the same way we see ourselves.  Now, I know this is hard because of the history of the world.  These people don’t like those people and those people don’t like them people and them people don’t like no people.  It becomes frustrating and upsetting as we live in this world and attempt to make Christ our center.  In all we must respect the beliefs of people and search their hearts for truth. We must know and understand we give compassion through Christ and our Faith without compromise in our foundation. We are all broken, whether we want to admit or Not! However, we are All also Worth God’s Healing and Grace!

One Love, One King, All Christ!

Cherished

Daily we live but  it’s more of a journey
Darkness  sneaks in to overwhelm
Whispers and lies telling us we are phony
That we are not worthy of the heavenly realm

Jesus says we are his most cherished
That he is the one true and only Christ
Yet we feel that our dreams have perished
Then our flesh and sin are much more enticed

The days may not be in our favor
Sometimes more dark days than light
We must choose to never let our faith waiver
For in our weakness our strength comes from God’s Might