Autonomy- Making decisions independently from God!

I was reading a devotional that was sent to me and this was the topic of the day.  As I started to read it, I became more and more convicted in my soul.  I realized there are so many times that I make decisions and go with what I feel is right, rather than what God has in store.  I know it happens to me the most when I feel my prayers are not being answered in the time I want them to be.  I always know when I start to draw back closer to God as my concerns and wants become less about me and more about him.  Then there is always some obstacle that comes into play and BOOM, I go right back to making a decision that I have “control” over instead of truly letting God drive.  I want to be the man of God that I was born to be, but if I keep trying to move around while he is molding me, it will take a lot longer because of me. I think it is funny that I actually believe I can make a decision that will impact my life or even someone else without consulting Jesus.  This is advice I give all the time but yet I do not follow my own advice.  I can tell you I am so tired of this and it has finally made it to the point where you are so far underwater and racing to the top to take that DEEP BREATH of air and you feel like you are not going to make it and then you Do!!  Life is crazy and I am stubborn and it takes me to suffer and suffocate before I truly just turn and place my eyes where I am most joyful and at peace, JESUS!

Gratitude

This is a word I have never truly stopped to sit and let sink in.  The truth is my pride has always ruled my world and that has been a tough one.  It is amazing how far from right I usually am about the choices I make.  There is this inside voice that tells me I am in control and if I want to get more or be successful I need to do whatever it takes to make what I “WANT” to happen, happen.  Then I am sitting at church this weekend and come to realize that Gratitude is allowing myself to be thankful for what I have and not trying to get what I want!  This seems very simple but I can tell you it is far from easy.  The ability to turn what I already have into enough is a concept that seems so far fetched because I have always been so persistent in getting what I want.  The biggest difference for me now is learning to sit through the feelings and thoughts I cannot stand and actually realizing I have no control.  The only true way to understand God’s blessings is not to count them but to enjoy them moment by moment.  I want Gratitude to take over my Pride and pray and pray for God to give peace when all the craziness in my head and heart start running! Amen!

One Love, One King, All Christ!

If you Fall in love with my flowers and don’t know my roots, Shame on you

I came across of painting and it was amazing, but more amazing were the words.  It hit me right where it hurts. Now the lady who wrote it was talking about her relationship with a man, but as I read it, God hit me like a ton of bricks.  I am so in love with the pretty side of Jesus.  I know what to say and how to say it.  The truth is when it comes to the down dirty and gritty side of following Christ, I am not consistent.  I will give into my feelings almost every time.  They make it easy to go numb, it feels like I don’t want to feel and then I turn on the numbing button. When I read this it sunk in that if I truly want to follow Christ, if I truly want to be a man of God, If I truly want to be a great friend, If I truly want to be a great husband and If I truly want to be a great father… Then I better get to knowing God’s roots!!  It will only be through allowing God to meet me where he found for us to start the way I want to. Thankfully, it is not up to me! Amen!

One Love, One King, All Christ!