As God Moves!

By now I should know not to be surprised by what God does in my life.  I can look back at the countless times He has intervened in my circumstances.  When I decide to follow his lead and I draw near to him, He ROCKS me.  The first time I started saying yes to every opportunity God offered happened close to 7 years ago.  I came back from a mission trip to Nicaragua with a bunch of teens, THE TRIP WAS AWESOME!  This trip brought about my healing process. I was dealing with the loss of my mom and battling my emotions with God. Returning to the USA I told Jesus I would say yes to any opportunity he presented. I should have known better, but seriously I came back and started to say yes and it was wild.  I was asked to be the main speaker for a kids camp for that upcoming summer.  I said yes!  Here I was preparing for camp and God says wait, before you start speaking to kids about me I want you to do something you said you would never be able to do and I ended up speaking for the first time about Jesus, to a crowd of 27 women at Agape’s Women’s Ministry the Sunday before I started camp.  This was me relying upon the Holy Spirit completely because these women were broken, hurt and most court ordered to be there.  There was no way a smile and a few jokes would get me through this.  When I tell you that our Lord showed up and filled the room and the Holy Spirit took a hold of my words, God Moved!

Now, fast forward to this year and the past few weeks.  Life has been crazy, dark and somewhat chaotic and I haven’t been going to church for the past couple years, well very rarely.  I have been battling my demons, the church, the job and trying to do it all on my own and getting pummeled.  Finally, with the introduction of a new face I found myself smiling more. I realized God knows how to make us smile when we need it the most.  Then  about two weeks ago I attended a worship night at my church.  It was amazing and I ended up speaking to my friend, who is also my Pastor. That night while he was hugging me I heard God say, ” this is your home!”  Within that time and this past month and a half, I have done a beautiful little baby funeral which no words can describe the heaviness, was offered to do a wedding, and just this past Sunday was asked to be a camp speaker again at Kids Camp.  When God says come as you are, he means it and when he needs you he will call on you.  He will call you to do things you said you would never do and he will humble you and let you know that He Is God!  I feel him moving and I am taking every thought captive. This allows the Holy Spirit to rest on me to give me the peace in knowing that my life is not my own! It is truly not about me, because Jesus is all about me, therefore I can pour all of me into those that need me and trust that he will keep my cup overflowing! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ!

The Fear of Change

Why is it that I do not want to change.  It feels like I am completely OK with where I am at spiritually.  Yet I wake up this morning and my soul is churning.  I am not at ease and I am going into prayer but almost with fear.  There is this feeling like I will lose who I believe I am if I trust to turn to Christ. If I truly give everything to him, including my sin.  This sin has been a part of me since I was a little boy, literally and has it’s hook in me deeply.  It has caused me so much pain and solitude over the last 22 years of my life.  I have fought through and hidden most of this but I am tired of hiding and tired of just making it through.  I have continually missed out on many opportunities that God has set before me because of my mindset and soul-set.  I want to walk out of the dungeon and it feels like I can’t even though there is no door on the hinges.  I can walk out, but if I walk out all the way then I lose my ability to get what I want and when I want it.  I have reached out for some help over the years, but ultimately I fight this alone because its my secret.  The problem with that lie is I know God wants me to serve him.  I know I have a purpose of reaching out to young people and talking to them about the realness of Christ and this World.  As I reflect back on a short motivational video about wanting to be successful, I believe I am finally in the place where that old man says I need to be.  He tells the young man, “You will only achieve success when you want it as bad and you need to breathe!” He tells him this after almost drowning him.  I do not want to drown I want to inhale deeply of the breath of Christ and experience true freedom.  I know I cannot do it alone and I pray that God guides me into the right people as they will become a part of my crown of life.  Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope there is something that connects with you! Amen

One Love, One King, All Christ!

Holiday Time

The holidays bring cheer to some and others will frown
As they hold on tightly to believing their alone.
Sadly many of us will put on this lonesome crown
Truly trusting that we are completely on our own

This time of year can bring out the worst
Reminiscing of the past keeps us dazed for a while
Our loved ones that are gone has us feeling cursed
OH Lord, how long can I hold this fake smile

I see families in every direction I turn
A longing to be loved wrestles with my heart
The tears become so many my eyes start to burn
Oh how I wish for the new year to quickly start

This mindset does not settle in overnight
As we battle the sadness of those we miss
This time of year Jesus may be our only light
For you may be one thing, For me the gentleness of my mom’s kiss

However, The “Woe’s me” must come to an end
As our Papa tells us he is more than enough
We are His Beloved and that is our Godsend
Within His embrace the Holidays won’t be as rough